The current youth cult that reveres the Family doesn’t fight alone shirt and I love this young, uses the word ‘old’ as an insult and urges everybody to use magic potions, have surgery, etc in order to look younger, further isolates old people. Old people are no longer respected, rather they are patronized, despised, and abandoned. Families are more dispersed nowadays, even over different continents, so family support, even for those who have families, is no longer available. The details of my experience are not terribly important here, what’s important is how you should deal with and react to it. Character assassination by family members is, in some ways, very nearly the ultimate betrayal. Your family has access to secrets about you that no one else would, from intimate details about your relationships to gaffes made when you were a child. The bond of trust in families is supposed to cover those things, so that we can be reassured that no matter what else happens, we have some final, private space that belongs to those who know us best. Just stop everything and give yourself a moment to process. You need a moment to figure out what to do with yourself, now that someone that close to you has chosen to violate your trust. Contact someone you can still trust. That character assassination is going to destroy portions of your social and personal life, and you need to get in contact with the people around you so that you can deal with it. If you don’t know who to trust, start contacting people to try and figure out who’s still talking to you. Don’t do anything without thinking it out very carefully first. The temptation is to hit back, but about half the time, that just makes you look ‘even’ with the person who is performing the character assassination to onlookers. Their choice to assassinate your character made the social world around you part of the situation, whether you like it or not, and now you have to think about the audience. Whatever actions you take next, do nothing without thoroughly thinking through the consequences. If I were you, I’d talk it over with the therapist, who has no particular stake in the matter and can help you sort out what is a reasonable response from something that’s liable to make things worse. If you don’t have a therapist, talk it out with someone you trust who is not hot-tempered and can do future planning.
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Be aware that revenge, even though sometimes both attractive and merited, does not make things better. It doesn’t even really make you feel better, and the Family doesn’t fight alone shirt and I love this odds are very good that it will backfire spectacularly. Be aware of collateral damage. If this character assassination is happening in front of children or any actions you take in revenge happen in front of children, you will be enforcing tremendous collateral damage against people who have nothing to do with the problem children. Those children are likely to enlist under one or another persons in the conflict, and to try to take up that burden which will be inappropriate to their age, understanding, and capabilities, and it will cause them lasting harm. It may be, for that reason, that the best way to ‘play’ is not to ‘play.’ Realize that their choice is on them—you didn’t ‘make’ them decide to violate trust, you didn’t ‘make’ them decide to perform that character assassination, and the fault does not lie on you. So let them have the guilt, if you’re experiencing it. Be careful, in terms of social interaction, for some time. Rumors, particularly nasty ones, travel very quickly, to people who would otherwise not be a part of the situation or family. You may have to deal with a long period (years, even) where you are consistently mistrusted or poorly treated thanks to that character assassination. You’re in for the long haul, and you’re just going to have to put up with a certain amount of stupid bullshit from others. The good news is that being fairly careful to be ethical in your social interactions can act as a dampener on that rumor, making it harder for people that have met you to believe. So take care. Be nice to yourself. I’ve had to live for two decades with the character assassination from my family members, and it has not been an easy two decades recognize that the burden you bear with regard to it is unfair, unwarranted, and generally untenable and that you deserve to be kind to yourself because of the demands it places on you. So be kind to yourself, even if no one else will. How did the concept of family start? Human evolution made us into what we are today, there are times when we blame the society for a lot of things but the truth is the society and the rules were formed for several reasons. The major one was to make sure we do not get bored and have something to do.